Something I wrote for Dame Magazine

Check out this piece I wrote for Dame Magazine, TV Spin-Off's That Need to Happen.

Also check this out. See, even TV Guide can't tell Dermot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott apart.

Things I Love Thursday

I don't have much time to post because Sophie is going to wake up any minute and Benjamin is currently snacking on goldfish crackers and rocking out to George Harrison on Pandora- he has good taste for a one year- old. But, this idyll could end any second, so I will do a quick post of things I am loving right now. This list is in no particular order.

1. Heirloom Tomato Salad with Bocconcini and Basil

Since it's 90 degrees in Los Angeles today this is what I'll be making tonight for dinner, and possibly every night until it cools down. This recipe is pretty close to how I make it, I basically just toss everything into a big bowl and add ingredients to taste. I also like to add some avocado and arugula if I have it. Great with french bread and Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc which I think you can get for around $10 or $12 just about anywhere.

2. Hit & Miss

Do you know about Hit & Miss? It's this insanely good British television show starring Chloë Sevingy as a pre-op transgendered assassin and that's not even the most interesting part of the show. It's streaming on Netflix and you should definitely watch it once you rip through all those Orange is the New Black episodes. Bonus: you get to see Chloë Sevigny with a penis!

3. Annie's Macaroni and Cheese

Macaroni and cheese is pretty pathetic for a "Things I Love," list, but with one year- old twins, I'm passionate about carving out five minute windows in my day to sit the fuck down. When they first started eating finger foods, I was all about making everything from scratch, but after a few times of the kids throwing the lovingly prepared, organic, locally grown, sauteed zucchini on the floor I thought, "Okay, you little shits, I see how this is going to be." I don't call them little shits to their faces (generally). Plus, the list of ingredients doesn't make me feel like a crappy mom. 

4. Orange is the New Black- the Book

After my husband and I burned through the Netflix series, I wanted more! So, I started reading the memoir by Piper Kerman in which the series is based. Don't expect Chapman's voice; Piper Kerman is less neurotic, less shallow and less awful, which you'd also think would make her interesting, but it doesn't. 

5. Valerie June- Since I don't get to the Hotel Cafe  as much (never) as I used to, I have to count on KCRW and NPR to inform me on new music finds. 

What's Up With All the Sklyer White Hate?

Anna Gunn, the very talented actress who plays Skyler White on Breaking Bad wrote this fascinating piece in the the New York times theorizing why fans responded with so much hate towards the character and even to her. It's really thought provoking and smart which leads me to believe a man  helped her write it.

I admit, I did go through a period with Skyler during season two where I was like, "Ugh, c'mon Skyler, stop being such a buzzkill and just let Walter sell this dangerous and deadly drug that destroys lives." But I never hated her, in fact, I remember a moment when a very pregnant Skyler snuck into her car for a cigarette and I thought, "Ooh, now this is a complicated woman with secrets of her own." I've kinda loved her ever since.

Finland here I come...

A child in Finland being happy as usual. (Kasper/Pempel Reuters) from here.

While trolling on mama congo, a great blog written by two women raising their families in Congo, I stumbled across this fascinating Atlantic piece on why we should all move to Finland.

I want to go there simply for the baby box alone!

I suspect the winters are a bit more brutal than the ones I endure here in LA, so looks like we'll keep paying $1,500 a month for health insurance and not buying a house anytime in the immediate future.

Some other fascinating stories I'm reposting from mama Congo's Friday July 15th post:

Cedar Sinai has something new called "Rock and Roll Birth Program," at first I was like, "Oh no, is this some weird new craze where aging rock stars are becoming certified midwives because I am not into Bret Michaels seeing my vagina.  My fourteen year- old self can't believe I just typed those words.

No, it's actually this really cool new plan that's goal is to get women up and moving around during their labor, or at least changing their positions every twenty minutes or so. I love that Cedar's is adopting a more active role for the mother in the birthing process.

When I was pregnant with S and B, I was very worried that during my labor I would be stuck in the bed, being forced to lie on my back the entire time. I needn't have worried; I never had the urge to get out of bed once. Some women want to roam the halls while they are moving through their labors. Not me, I preferred the "lay in bed and moan like a wounded animal," tactic of pain management. In my defense, I did move every few minutes. I would go from lying back and panting, to lifting up slightly to grab the rails of the bed, death- grip style. Until I got an epidural at around eight centimeters, then I was as cool as a cucumber.

My Bradley Method teacher would be so disappointed.

My essay published in xoJane

If you are interested in the deep sadness that can occur after giving birth, and why wouldn't you be? Head on over to xoJane for-"It Took Me Forever to Have a Baby--Then I Had Post-Partum Depression." It should be noted, I titled it "New Mom Blues," but I guess they thought more words were catchier. I was very happy that xoJane published the piece because the more lady eyeballs that are exposed to the shit storm that can be the post- partum period the better.

One of the things I wanted to talk about were some of the comments my story generated. I was really happy that some of the xoJane readers connected to it, but on the flip side, quite a few women commented, "this is exactly why I'm never having kids." Here's a sampling.





Hold on a second, I'm NOT going to change my mind? Guess what Hush, I did. Just like you, I never ever wanted kids. Friends would smile knowingly and say, "You'll change your mind, you'll see." I was so sure that if I'd had decent insurance coverage at the age of thirty-three I might have also had my tubes tied. Good thing I was mostly unemployed then because at thirty-five I totally changed my mind. I'm not saying these women getting "fixed," in their early thirties will change their minds like I did, but what a pain in the tubes for them, if they do.

Of course, women should definitely not have kids if they don't want them or feel mentally fit to care for them, but to say you'll never change your mind? That's for one thing just plain silly and for another, awesome as it reminds me what a dum dum I was.

But even more importantly, I think I did a huge disservice to the readers because I left them with the impression that having my babies was somehow a mistake. The fact is, I would gladly go through those six months of hell again for how vastly they've improved my life. People talk about their kids as being "the best things that ever happened to them," and before having kids I'd nod my head and secretly think, "Why are you boring me right now?" But since Benjamin and Sophie I've never felt happier. I love my husband more deeply, I feel closer to my family, I am kinder to strangers and the best part- I get to stay home every night and watch all the TV I want. No kidding, I get to watch all the shows.

It's pretty great.