Greenspan's Reefer Madness!

Alan Greenspan knows all about the depression because he lived it! HE talks about it in his new captivating book!


Al, as I like to call him, who was our Federal Reserve Chairman for X number of years has a new book out “The Age of Turbulence.” I’m sure you are currently tearing through this riveting page turner, feel free to give me the highlights, I keep forgetting to pick up copy.

He was promoting his new book on NPR the other day and he was talking about being in a Jazz band as a young whippersnapper. Apparently some of the band members enjoyed the kind herb, but not Al.

“Not me, oh no, I never even smoked a cigarette. But even to this day, I can still smell a marijuana cigarette from 50 yards away!”

Um…Alan, I think pretty much, all of us can.

Billboards, Killers & Pie

She’s the Agent, he’s the Secret.

Well the secret’s out- Chuck is unwatchable.

Did I get a screener because I am a showbiz insider? Nope. I have an uncanny ability to gauge the watchability of a show, based on viewing a few seconds of a promo and seeing a few billboards.

Or in the case of CHUCK, a few thousand billboards.

In other news, do my neighbors EVER STOP washing clothes? The incessant spin cycle is INSUFFERABLE. I am fairly certain based on the newspaper covering all of their windows that the constant spin cycle is connected to a need to wash the bloody clothes of their victims before they dismember them and stuff their parts into the freezer.

I should bake them a pie.

This fella “Chuck,” who works for the “Nerd Herd.” Which is a clever play on Best Buy’s “Geek Squad.” Please. I’ve never seen a guy that good looking even shopping at a Best Buy.

If your eyes happen to accidentally fall on a billboard that isn’t Chuck, you can rest assured, it’s for this great new reality show, KID NATION.


Children live without any parental supervision for 40 days- children as young as 8.
The parents actually had to sign a waiver that released the show from any responsibility if their kids died.

The billboard reads...

"I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE ABOUT TO DO THIS!"

I guess they ran out of room on the ads because it should read... “"I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE ABOUT TO DO THIS...TO OUR CHILDREN!”

The Ellen billboards though are the most annoying, “I watch Ellen because she’s my BFF.”

This woman in Wisconsin actually believes she’s best friends with Ellen Degeneres and how does the Ellen show respond to her delusional thinking? They reward it by putting her giant crazy head on a billboard.

That’s irresponsible and sick if you ask me. It seems pretty low to stoop to get new viewers, taking advantage of the mentally ill.

Plus her giant crazy face scares me. She’s grinning menacingly over all of us on LaBrea and Melrose. That’s not pleasant.

Donut Burgers Coming to a Menu Near YOU!

I saw a link for an article online the other day...

Donut Burger's Coming to a Menu Near YOU!

It seems that some restaurants are now offering a
hamburger that uses two donuts for a bun.
Finally! This is what America needs!
Below that link there was another link...

Consider a RAW FOOD DIET Instead.

I'm thinking anyone clicking on the story about
cow meat sandwiched between two glazed donuts,
is nowhere near considering a raw food diet.

Here's an idea, how about, Consider a REGULAR BUN.
Although I am a very busy and important person, I managed to squeeze in a moment to type "donut burger," into youtube and see what came up.

Nude Cooking Talk Show.

JACKPOT!

But when I began to watch the Nude Cooking Talk Show, it was just as boring as people cooking with their clothes on while being filmed. I know this seems impossible – they're NAKED - but trust me on this. If you doubt me, watch a few moments. You will soon go, "Kris was totally right on about that!"

Here is the link just in case you want to be bored out of your mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REOSAbCfXp4

The only moment of interest for me came about midway through when the NUDE CHEF LADY said to the NUDE PAL OR NEIGHBOR LADY…

"When people find out I'm a nude chef, the NUMBER 1
question I get asked is, "What do you do when
you fry bacon?"

WHAT?

You tell people you are a NUDE CHEF
and that's the NUMBER ONE QUESTION you get asked?

Because that's not the first thing that pops into my
head. I would have so many other questions before
bacon frying would even be on the table. Let's start
with the big one:

WHY CAN I SEE YOUR VAGINA RIGHT NOW?