Finland here I come...

A child in Finland being happy as usual. (Kasper/Pempel Reuters) from here.

While trolling on mama congo, a great blog written by two women raising their families in Congo, I stumbled across this fascinating Atlantic piece on why we should all move to Finland.

I want to go there simply for the baby box alone!

I suspect the winters are a bit more brutal than the ones I endure here in LA, so looks like we'll keep paying $1,500 a month for health insurance and not buying a house anytime in the immediate future.

Some other fascinating stories I'm reposting from mama Congo's Friday July 15th post:

Cedar Sinai has something new called "Rock and Roll Birth Program," at first I was like, "Oh no, is this some weird new craze where aging rock stars are becoming certified midwives because I am not into Bret Michaels seeing my vagina.  My fourteen year- old self can't believe I just typed those words.

No, it's actually this really cool new plan that's goal is to get women up and moving around during their labor, or at least changing their positions every twenty minutes or so. I love that Cedar's is adopting a more active role for the mother in the birthing process.

When I was pregnant with S and B, I was very worried that during my labor I would be stuck in the bed, being forced to lie on my back the entire time. I needn't have worried; I never had the urge to get out of bed once. Some women want to roam the halls while they are moving through their labors. Not me, I preferred the "lay in bed and moan like a wounded animal," tactic of pain management. In my defense, I did move every few minutes. I would go from lying back and panting, to lifting up slightly to grab the rails of the bed, death- grip style. Until I got an epidural at around eight centimeters, then I was as cool as a cucumber.

My Bradley Method teacher would be so disappointed.

My essay published in xoJane

If you are interested in the deep sadness that can occur after giving birth, and why wouldn't you be? Head on over to xoJane for-"It Took Me Forever to Have a Baby--Then I Had Post-Partum Depression." It should be noted, I titled it "New Mom Blues," but I guess they thought more words were catchier. I was very happy that xoJane published the piece because the more lady eyeballs that are exposed to the shit storm that can be the post- partum period the better.

One of the things I wanted to talk about were some of the comments my story generated. I was really happy that some of the xoJane readers connected to it, but on the flip side, quite a few women commented, "this is exactly why I'm never having kids." Here's a sampling.





Hold on a second, I'm NOT going to change my mind? Guess what Hush, I did. Just like you, I never ever wanted kids. Friends would smile knowingly and say, "You'll change your mind, you'll see." I was so sure that if I'd had decent insurance coverage at the age of thirty-three I might have also had my tubes tied. Good thing I was mostly unemployed then because at thirty-five I totally changed my mind. I'm not saying these women getting "fixed," in their early thirties will change their minds like I did, but what a pain in the tubes for them, if they do.

Of course, women should definitely not have kids if they don't want them or feel mentally fit to care for them, but to say you'll never change your mind? That's for one thing just plain silly and for another, awesome as it reminds me what a dum dum I was.

But even more importantly, I think I did a huge disservice to the readers because I left them with the impression that having my babies was somehow a mistake. The fact is, I would gladly go through those six months of hell again for how vastly they've improved my life. People talk about their kids as being "the best things that ever happened to them," and before having kids I'd nod my head and secretly think, "Why are you boring me right now?" But since Benjamin and Sophie I've never felt happier. I love my husband more deeply, I feel closer to my family, I am kinder to strangers and the best part- I get to stay home every night and watch all the TV I want. No kidding, I get to watch all the shows.

It's pretty great.