My essay published in xoJane

If you are interested in the deep sadness that can occur after giving birth, and why wouldn't you be? Head on over to xoJane for-"It Took Me Forever to Have a Baby--Then I Had Post-Partum Depression." It should be noted, I titled it "New Mom Blues," but I guess they thought more words were catchier. I was very happy that xoJane published the piece because the more lady eyeballs that are exposed to the shit storm that can be the post- partum period the better.

One of the things I wanted to talk about were some of the comments my story generated. I was really happy that some of the xoJane readers connected to it, but on the flip side, quite a few women commented, "this is exactly why I'm never having kids." Here's a sampling.





Hold on a second, I'm NOT going to change my mind? Guess what Hush, I did. Just like you, I never ever wanted kids. Friends would smile knowingly and say, "You'll change your mind, you'll see." I was so sure that if I'd had decent insurance coverage at the age of thirty-three I might have also had my tubes tied. Good thing I was mostly unemployed then because at thirty-five I totally changed my mind. I'm not saying these women getting "fixed," in their early thirties will change their minds like I did, but what a pain in the tubes for them, if they do.

Of course, women should definitely not have kids if they don't want them or feel mentally fit to care for them, but to say you'll never change your mind? That's for one thing just plain silly and for another, awesome as it reminds me what a dum dum I was.

But even more importantly, I think I did a huge disservice to the readers because I left them with the impression that having my babies was somehow a mistake. The fact is, I would gladly go through those six months of hell again for how vastly they've improved my life. People talk about their kids as being "the best things that ever happened to them," and before having kids I'd nod my head and secretly think, "Why are you boring me right now?" But since Benjamin and Sophie I've never felt happier. I love my husband more deeply, I feel closer to my family, I am kinder to strangers and the best part- I get to stay home every night and watch all the TV I want. No kidding, I get to watch all the shows.

It's pretty great.