It's Earth Day!

Here are some things YOU can do today for Earth Day.

1. Don’t drive your car. Walk! Or, better yet- Stay in your pajamas and watch The Discovery Channel’s Planet Earth Marathon instead.
2. Don’t shower. Just keep watching the show. Congratulate yourself for the water you just conserved.
3. Go to algore.org and sign the petition that’s pushing him to run in 2008. Send it to everyone you know- especially people in Ohio that voted for Bush. Jerks.
4. Jesus, this show kills me. Excuse me? Hey, guy with the camera? Could you give that starving Polar Bear some food please? I know you have some. Just throw him half your sandwich. C’mon.
5. Plant a tree. I just did. Or something very similar to that.
6. Eat Cookies. I’m not sure why this is good for Earth. But science is behind this.
7. Do not exercise. Don’t pollute the Earth with your extra breaths of carbon dioxide. I’m not and you shouldn’t either.
8. A nap after sleeping 12 hours is NOT lazy. It’s good for you and good for Mother Earth! While napping you AREN’T driving, using electricity, wasting water, littering or polluting. Napping is something I call “passive activism.”
9. Don’t use your cell phone. Do you know that cell phones interrupt the navigation of bees preventing them from pollinating crops? Do you see problem here? Don’t even answer that crop killer. Especially his call.
10. Do you know what’s really good for the Earth? Making Out. Why? I’m not sure on this one. But making out, like creating a top ten list, is super fun and makes me happy.