Last Dish Effort

Sadly, the Dish has been canceled. I think it had something to do with zero advertising and no one having the cable channel it aired on. But it's hard to say. Here are some of my last jokes that didn't make it to air, but hold a special place in my heart.


Lady Gaga admits that she writes most of her songs while high on weed. So that’s why so many of her songs are about Ranch Doritos.

Dancing with the Stars pro Maksim Chermokovsky revealed he’s very gentle with his partner Kirstie Alley. It’s true; he hasn’t dropped her one time. He also hasn’t lifted her one time.

Stevie Nicks lashed out when asked about rumors that Lindsay Lohan wants to portray the singer on film and said, “she needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip.” Stevie then sprinkled gold dust into the air and flew away bareback on a purple unicorn.

US Weekly reports that Justin Timberlake cheated on Jessica Biel with actress Olivia Munn after they met at a Myspace event. I find that hard to believe-- Myspace is still a company?

Charlie Sheen admitted to Life and Style Magazine that, "I’m Losing My Mind.” Oh wait, Charlie just found his mind; it was misplaced under a big pile of cocaine. It’s always the last place you look!

The Discovery Channel announced that there will be no season two for Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Great now what am I supposed to watch with my friend that’s a moron?

Dancing With the Stars Maksim Chmerkovskiy is set to star on the Ukranian version of The Bachelor. I can’t wait to hear Maksim say, “Will you accept this healthy egg producing chicken?”

Lady Gaga’s new perfume has a name- MONSTER! It’s a fine blend of patchouli, jasmine and that glitter that gets stuck in your butt crack.

Victoria Beckam reveals that inside of her there is a gay man trying to get out. I always suspected, I mean David’s hair is ALWAYS perfect.

I can’t wait for Paris Hilton and Charlie Sheen ex- Brooke Mueller’s new reality show. It’s going to be just like Cagney and Lacey except instead of solving a new crime every week, they commit one.

First-time parents Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon had a surprisingly low-key baby shower in Beverly Hills this week. It’s true; I was there and can verify that the unicorns were dressed in classy yet understated tuxedos.

Julianne Hough reveals that Ryan Secret is a really romantic guy who fills her car with flowers. Poor Julianne, she has no idea this is all for his new E! reality show, “Filling Cars With Flowers with Ryan Secrest.”

There will be no season two for Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Great now what am I supposed to watch with that friend I have that’s a moron?